Digs

I’ve fallen into depression I’m sorry. I thought I was fine then I dropped
into what pulls. For so long my anchor’s been pain, a lodestone
magnetized and electric I came to understand this what
as, feeling. But who cares now it’s between the page and me. Personal,
private. I am two and then twice that, as I call my name four times.
Layli, Layli,
                                                          Layli, Layli.

At the door, Layli Pain and Layli Joy. A child-self enters with me.
Layli Think and Layli Do, they soft step to the threshold I imagine.
I want no resolution to this friendship of self, halved into halves.
Pain, you boss and lord this existence slow as white blooms
along the sky crumpling into themselves then loosely breaking
away away I call my name. I wait for my return, strange
strange stepping toward me I see                       no one.